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Trying to live a little less large

July 27, 2011

Looks easy enough, right? Wrong.

I’ve never been mistaken for a runner, mostly because I hate running. I’ve tried a few times to take up the practice, but it always ends after the first day with a swift reassurance that “This sucks,” and then I don’t do it again for a couple of years.

So when I came across this program, I thought it would be an easy way to ease into the habit. My previous attempts were just “I’m gonna go run for a while.” This time I would have a goal for each day. Plus, the entire first week consists of eight sets of one-minute bursts. And let’s face it, if I can’t run for a whole minute, then I’m way too fat. Well … I’m almost too fat.

It sucked so much. After the first set, all the familiar feelings came back — “This sucks and there’s a reason I don’t do it.” After the third set I began thinking that there was no way I was going to make it through all eight, and after the fourth set, I was convinced.

My legs were on fire at this point, but I was going to push through one more set. I was going to quit, but during the walking half of that set, Fat Joe’s “Lean Back” started playing over Spacehog’s “In the Meantime.” I don’t know if it was the music or if my brain clued in that I was almost 3/4 of the way done, but something kept me going.

For the next three sets the runs kept sucking, but during the walk I kept telling myself, “One closer. One closer.”

Even though I was tired, the last set was the easiest. “You’re done after this dude!” I walked a lot longer than a minute and a half after my eighth run, but I was cooling down and doing a little well deserved ego feeding. “You just did two miles dude!”

Two hours later, I’m tired, but I don’t have the old “Well, we’re never doing that again,” voice in the back of my head. I might repeat week one though, since my run is still more like a faster walk where I swing my arms a little more.

After day one, I can tell you two things.

Running still sucks.

And Girl Talk’s “All Day” is still one of the best records to come out in the past 12 months. If any of you still don’t have it, you should click this link and download it. It’s free if that makes any difference.

It’s also one of the best records I’ve ever listened to while running (with all of my vast experience). However, if anyone’s got some other recommendations for my iPod I’d love to hear them. I could use a little playlist help because I’ve got nine more weeks of suck ahead of me.

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